tl;dr: Despite constant warnings about tech companies' invasive data collection, the author argues the resulting personalization is laughably bad: ads for already-purchased products, wrong languages based on location rather than explicit settings, recommendations for things they can't use (undeliverable products, foreign content without subtitles), and services ignoring years of obvious behavioral patterns. The piece's central irony: if companies are going to harvest all this data anyway, they could at least use it competently.