tl;dr: A developer's Play Store account was closed for inactivity and cannot be restored, forcing them to create a new one to publish a hobby app. Attempting to sideload via F-Droid instead, they discovered Google's new Android Developer Verification Program requires a $25 fee, identity verification, and a payments profile—even for sharing dev builds with a small number of users. The author is frustrated that Google now effectively gatekeeps all Android app distribution, not just the Play Store.